After a day of parenting and adulting, there’s nothing better than relaxing and watching a movie to take your mind off things.
And, if it’s been a challenging day and I’m sitting there feeling bad for finally losing my patience with the kids during the bedtime routine, then I just think of the behaviour of the parents from some of my favourite movies and instantly feel better.
Here are ten of the worst movie parents (from a bit bad to the absolute worst):
10. George Banks (Mary Poppins)
George Banks is a busy parent, but also extremely strict and dismisses his children when they ask him to spend time with them.
Enter Mary Poppins.
Through Mary, who really is practically perfect in every way, he begins to understand the importance of spending time with his children.
They all run off together to fly a kite and Mary realises she’s no longer needed. She opens her umbrella and flies away and not for the first time, I’m left feeling envious of her calm persona and her massive, magical carpet bag.
9. Howard Langston (Jingle All the Way)
Howard falls into the same category as Mr Banks when it comes to parenting. He’s a busy man, I get it. However, I have absolutely NO sympathy for any parent who leaves it until Christmas Eve to buy their kid an extremely popular toy.
Who does that?! Did Howard honestly believe that he would easily be able to buy a Turbo Man?! On Christmas Eve?!
Like George Banks, Howard sees the error of his ways in the end. And you have to admire his determination when it comes to getting his hands on his son’s requested toy!
8. Peter Banning (Hook)
Hook was the first movie that I saw at the cinema and continues to be one of my favourite films today. And it hits much harder watching it as an adult.
Like George and Howard, adult Peter Pan (known as Peter Banning in this adaptation) is far too busy with his job to give his children his full attention. As a result, he misses his son’s baseball game. His wife warns him about how quickly their children are growing up.
“We have a few special years with our children, when they’re the ones that want us around. After that, you’re going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It’s so fast, Peter. It’s a few years, then it’s over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.”
Moira Banning, Hook (1991)
She isn’t wrong! Children grow up so quickly, something that I’ve been feeling about my own just lately, despite them still only being young.
It takes his children being kidnapped by Captain Hook for Peter to eventually get his ass in gear and give them the attention they need.
7. The Dursleys (Harry Potter movies)
There’s no denying that Vernon and Petunia Dursley are a terrible aunt and uncle. They force poor Harry to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs (though it does look quite cosy) and pretend that he doesn’t exist.
Their parenting skills are also questionable. When your kid is complaining that he is ONE birthday present short of the whopping 37 presents that he received the previous year, you must be doing something wrong.
Dudley is spoilt rotten and his personality is rotten too. He bullies Harry and the Dursleys do absolutely nothing to stop it.
Dudley does show some redeeming qualities in the later movies. Those scenes were sadly deleted though. So unless you watch those (I highly recommend you do!), you’ll be left with a very negative impression of the Dursleys.
6. Wayne Szalinski – Honey I shrunk the Kids
If you’re a scientist and you have kids, NEVER leave your equipment lying around. Even if your kids aren’t babies or toddlers anymore, you should still keep it stored safely away. Especially when that equipment is designed to shrink someone.
As predicted, the kids end up the size of ants. Wayne and his wife, Diane, are forced to spend the duration of the first movie searching their garden and trying not to squish their children.
Wayne is a nice guy but unfortunately doesn’t learn his lesson, which is why he has earned 6th place on this worst movie parents list.
Despite his mistake in the first movie, he messes up again in the sequel. This time, he has a 2-year-old son, Adam, and thinks that it’s a good idea to take him to work.
Where there is dangerous machinery.
Wayne really should have known that toddlers and machinery don’t mix. Adam is zapped by a machine that makes things grow and Wayne and Diane find themselves dealing with a 100ft toddler.
Imagine a 100ft toddler throwing a tantrum?!
Yikes!
5. King Agnarr and Queen Iduna (Frozen)
The King and Queen believed that keeping Elsa and Anna isolated from everyone until Elsa was able to control her powers was a good idea.
It wasn’t.
It did more harm than good. Rather than keeping Elsa and Anna safe, their separation causes a rift and Elsa has difficulty accepting her special powers.
Making your kid isolate because of something they can’t help and wanting to keep their special abilities secret is pretty rubbish parenting. Even if you think you’re doing it for a good reason. It’s even worse when you try to shield your other child from the world in the process.
To make matters worse, both parents die in a tragic accident, leaving their daughters to deal with the result of years of isolation. You can really feel poor Elsa’s frustration in “Let it Go” and can’t help but feel sorry for her!
And for that reason, King Agnarr and Queen Iduna deserve to be in the top 5 on this list of the worst movie parents.
4. The McCallisters (Home Alone)
Now I’ve made many parenting mistakes. But Kate and Peter McCallister are on another level. I can honestly say that I’ve never travelled to another country and only realised mid-flight, thousands of miles away from home, that my kid is missing. And this happens not only once, but twice.
TWICE.
That’s an epic parenting fail.
To be fair, they do have a MASSIVE family (who the hell goes on holiday with fifteen family members – no wonder there are disagreements!).
I’m ashamed to say that I always laugh at the part where Peter, while talking to the police about poor Kevin being lost, says “funnily enough, we never lose our luggage.”
And at Uncle Frank trying to make them feel better by announcing that he’s forgotten his reading glasses.
Despite their double parenting fail, Kate and Peter love Kevin and Kate does everything she can to be reunited with her son. I’ve always got the tissues at the ready for the end of both of the Home Alone movies, especially the first one!
3. Ruth DeWitt Bukater (Titanic)
Widowed and dealing with financial difficulties, Ruth wants her daughter, Rose, to marry the wealthy Caledon Hockley.
This would be fine if Cal was a charming, loving man. But he isn’t. He’s an abusive arsehole and it’s clear that Rose doesn’t love him. Ruth doesn’t care about any of that though.
All she cares about is the money and her reputation. And whether or not the lifeboats will be “seated according to class” and that she hopes they “won’t be too crowded”.
Urgh!
2. The Wormwoods (Matilda – 1996 version)
If any movie parents are the perfect example of awful parenting, it’s the Wormwoods. The very fact that baby Matilda is plonked in the boot of the car at the start of the movie is enough to tell us just how undeserving of a child these two are.
Ok, so car seat rules were a lot more relaxed in the 90s, but still. Who puts their baby in the car boot?!
12-year-old me laughed at the Wormwoods and the awful headmistress, Miss Trunchbull, when I first watched this movie.
30-something-year-old me just wants to reach through the screen and get poor Matilda the hell away from them!
1. Margaret White (Carrie)
In my horror movies post, I said that if I ever wrote a post about the worst movie parents, Margaret White would be on it.
And here she is.
Margaret White is one of the worst movie parents in history. There have been several adaptations of Stephen King’s Carrie and she’s equally awful in every single one. She abuses her daughter and fails to prepare her for puberty (you have to question a mother’s parenting when she uses the word “dirtypillows” to describe breasts).
As a result, poor Carrie doesn’t have a clue about menstruation. She suffers a horrific ordeal in the changing rooms at school, bullied mercilessly by her classmates.
Even worse, she arrives home and is locked in a cupboard for hours for committing the “sin” of starting her period.
Urgh!
This woman is the ONLY movie parent that has me muttering expletives at the screen while also managing to make me feel like the best mother in the history of the universe.
And so the next time I’m feeling guilty for not wanting to role-play with my kids…
I’ll just think of any of the parents on this list!
