I was never one of those people who had their mind set on having children. I was undecided.
My 20s were spent focusing on becoming a freelance writer whilst also renting and eventually buying my first home. Having children was the last thing on my mind!
So what changed? Why did I, an adult who hates adulting and often wishes I had a time machine so that I could re-visit my childhood, decide to embark on the very daunting journey of parenthood? What have been the main benefits?
Here are 10 reasons why I became a parent, why I’m glad I did it, and why you should consider it:
1. Regretting not becoming a parent
One of the things that annoys me about myself is that I’m a ditherer. I have trouble making decisions. I always try to weigh up the ups and downs of a situation before making a decision and take far too long doing it.
Having children was a decision that I knew I had to be certain about. And it wasn’t an easy one to make. By the time I reached my early 30s, most of my friends were already parents.
And I was still dithering.
Despite this though, I KNEW deep down that if I chose to remain child-free, I would regret it. I’d visit friends and their children and come home feeling relieved to be in a tidy home away from all the chaos. But I also felt envious of their family unit.
I imagined myself reaching my 50s or 60s and feeling a deep sadness at being childless. And so based on that, I decided to embark on what was (and will continue to be) a very life-changing journey.
If you’re experiencing this strong feeling, then it’s definitely a good reason to have children and avoid being full of regret later in life!
2. Carrying on the family name
There was no shortage of comments from my parents during the process of deciding to have children. By the time I hit 30, those comments were coming thick and fast.
“I’ll be using a zimmer frame by the time my first grandchild arrives!” Mum said, while Dad commented on how I needed to produce a child to carry on the family name like we were royalty.
He had a point. Having kids enables you to keep your family name going and leave behind a legacy.
As predicted, the grandparents-to-be were thrilled when an heir to the throne was eventually produced.
3. Learning more about yourself
This is one of the best reasons for becoming a parent! In the six years I’ve been a mum, I’ve discovered so much about myself. I’ve learned how to deal with many challenging situations, such as toddler tantrums and parental burnout.
I’ve also developed an amazing set of skills. These include:
- Referee skills (for breaking up fights between siblings)
- Multi-tasking and being able to quickly rustle up three separate meals at the same time (a very useful skill when you have a family of fussy eaters)
- Developing the ability to sprint up a hill at (almost) the same speed as Usain Bolt to get both kids into school and nursery on time
- Having an extraordinary amount of patience when my 3-year-old refuses to go to bed because he, in his own words, is “too tired to sleep”
It’s amazing how being a parent can help you to learn new things about yourself!
4. Becoming a kid again
Another top reason for becoming a parent. Despite hating role-playing, I do love acting silly with my children. It’s nice to be able to forget about being an adult for a moment and just act as silly as you like! And hearing your children laugh along with you is one of the best sounds.
Whether it’s blowing raspberries, tickling each other, chasing each other around or playing hide-and-seek, having kids is one of the absolute best excuses for not having to be a mature adult all day every day.
5. Being able to re-visit your childhood favourites
Whether it’s a favourite childhood movie or a favourite toy, it’s an amazing experience introducing your kids to the things you loved when you were a child. One of the things I’ve enjoyed since becoming a mum is being able to re-watch all of my favourite Disney movies (admittedly you don’t have to have kids to do this!).
And secretly looking in my kid’s party bags for my favourite sweets (fizzy cola bottles and jelly rings if you must know). Because, you know, too much sugar is bad for them. So it’s important that I, as the parent, check which sweets are in there and eat them.
6. A whole new life experience/adventure
Having kids introduces you to a whole new life experience. It’s not always an easy one and it’s expensive and stressful sometimes. And chaotic. And noisy.
But it’s a brand new experience and I keep telling myself (whenever the kids climb all over me and invade my space by sticking their feet in my face) that it will all be worth it.
They won’t be children for long and this parenting journey will bring many more new experiences and adventures as the years go by!
7. Combatting the loneliness
As an only child, there were moments when I would look at other, larger families and feel envious. I had friends, but growing up in a home that consisted of just myself and my parents could still be lonely sometimes. As I grew older and watched friends start and expand their own families, that feeling seemed to grow stronger.
Friends became busier with their new families and I started feeling a little bit left behind. Having no siblings also made me think about what things will be like later in life when my parents are no longer around (a depressing thought, but one that definitely pops into my head the older that my parents get).
The thought of growing old, not having my parents around anymore and being childless made me feel lonelier.
Some people enjoy living a life of solitude, but I knew deep down that this wasn’t for me, despite being a massive introvert!
Such a strong feeling is definitely a good reason for becoming a parent!
8. Learning the old and new
It’s been over 20 years since I’ve left school and I have to admit – I’ve forgotten quite a bit of what I learned. I can remember that Henry VIII had six wives (Alan Partridge was right – he was a shit) and something about a bloke called Isaac Newton and an apple tree, but other things are a bit blurred now.
And my brain hasn’t been the same since having kids (the baby brain seems to have lasted nearly seven years now).
Now that my 6-year-old is starting to learn history, science and many other subjects, it’s been interesting hearing about it again! And the school curriculum is now a lot different to when I was there, so there are new things added in there!
And I’ve discovered that I hate maths just as much as I did when I was at school.
9. Re-living experiences
This is one of the absolute best things about being a parent! You get to share your past experiences with your children, such as visiting the same places you did when you were a child. You don’t have to have to be a parent to do that, but going back to a holiday location that you loved as a child as an adult with your own children makes it extra special!
And it’s a great excuse to visit all the arcades again. And stand there in disbelief when your 3-year-old manages to win a toy from the claw machine, something which you have NEVER achieved in your 30+ years of life.
10. Gaining life-long friends
I’m not just talking about befriending other mums. By having kids, you can gain new friends in the form of your children!
Forming a bond with your kids is so rewarding and you get new, lifelong friends that you can share experiences with. Sure, you might be embarrassed by some of the things they do when they are toddlers and they will no doubt be embarrassed by you when they reach the teenage stage (I’m anxious about this stage – I’ll be honest!), but in the end you’ve gained a friend/friends for life.
We all have disagreements with our parents and some relationships between parents and children unfortunately may not work out, but maintaining a good relationship with your child can be another rewarding part of the parenting journey!
One thing is for sure, life as a parent is never dull! Six years and two kids later, I still have no idea what the hell I’m doing some days. None of my babies came with an instruction manual, so it’s just been six years of winging it. The kids are still alive, so I must have been doing something right!
And I can honestly say that, even on the tough days, I’m glad I decided to become a parent!
