When we first brought our daughter home from the hospital, I remember sitting there thinking “what now?”
There was an additional, tiny human in the house and I had no idea what the hell I was doing.
One of the main things that worried me was how I would connect with other mums. Being an introverted mum, I can only manage a few days of interacting with people before my batteries run flat. I end up craving some alone time to help me recharge.
The thought of attending a regular baby group filled me with dread. Most of my friends seemed to love them but I disliked them and felt guilty for doing so. Luckily, there was a group at my local library that lasted half an hour and mostly consisted of singing nursery rhymes. I’m shit at singing, but it was a far more enjoyable experience than making small talk with strangers (which I’m also shit at) for two hours.
Baby loved it, I loved it, all was well.
It’s been an ongoing challenge though.
Being an introverted mum is hard, especially when all you want is to enjoy some peace and quiet or just visit the bathroom without a small child in tow.
Over the years, I’ve found myself growing more envious of parents who can easily interact with other mums without needing much time alone.
When it all gets too much, I find myself feeling overwhelmed and desperate for time to myself. If you’re an introverted mum like me, then you’re probably familiar with these feelings. You feel guilty for not having the energy to socialise with your children and wanting space. Despite this guilt, I’ve learned that it’s ok to feel that way sometimes.
Having space from my children helps me to be a better parent.
So here are a few things that help me to get through those days when the house is incredibly noisy (which is pretty much all the time) and I start daydreaming about having my own, child-free desert island to escape to.
Making time for myself
As any parent already knows, having time to yourself can be difficult when you have kids. This makes it extra challenging for people who thrive on regular alone time. Life gets incredibly busy and there never seems to be any time for you to focus on yourself.
When I’m constantly focusing on being a parent, I sometimes end up feeling like that’s my sole identity.
That I’m simply just “Mummy” and nothing else (which is hardly surprising when the kids shout “Mummy, Mummy!” every five minutes).
I’ve learned that it’s important to make time for yourself and do something you enjoy to get a little of your old self back again.
Even if it’s just having a spa day.
Or a bit of retail therapy (usually online retail therapy for me, especially if I’m all peopled out and want to avoid the general public).
Asking for help
This is a tough one for parents who may not have family close by. If you do, then there’s no harm in asking for help. Even if it’s just for an hour, it will give you a little bit of a break.
I need at least a couple of days sometimes to fully recharge after socialising but I realise that dumping the kids on the grandparents’ doorstep and leaving them there for two days would be highly unreasonable. So I’ll take what I can get.
An hour’s break away from the kids every so often is better than spending all day every day with them and reaching parental burnout.
Going for a walk alone
Going for a walk alone can help introverted parents to recharge. I can enjoy the scenery in peace without a small person constantly asking for ice cream or complaining about needing a wee for the fifth time.
Bliss!
Gaming
If you’re a gamer like me, then you’ll probably already know that gaming can be a highly enjoyable and relaxing activity! I’m not talking full-on gaming sessions with headsets in my case, but more a quick break on a relaxing simulation game.
Of course, if gaming isn’t your thing there are lots of other relaxing activities that can help introverts to recharge, such as reading, writing or yoga.
Focusing on a project
When you’re a parent, your creative side is often awakened without you realising it. Events such as World Book Day and Easter are great opportunities for parents to get involved.
My Easter creation often consists of a painted egg with stick-on googly eyes that’s supposed to resemble an Easter bunny but looks more like a buck-toothed Humpty Dumpty on crack. But it’s still a creation!
Taking up arts or crafts is therapeutic (even if your art skills are questionable like mine). Focusing on a project will provide you with something that is entirely for yourself. Something that you can enjoy alone when you need to recharge.
Gardening, cooking, sewing or photography are all inspiring hobbies for introverts!
I’ve come to terms with the fact that being around my kids and people for too long zaps my energy and try not to feel guilty anymore.
Being an introverted mum may be hard sometimes but my parenting journey has helped me learn a lot about myself.
I now accept that it’s just who I am!
