One of the things I’ve discovered about adulthood is that it’s NOTHING like how I imagined it would be when I was a kid. There were moments when I’d glance at my parents doing adulty things and wish I could be a grown-up too.
Then I grew up and discovered that being an adult is shit.
The other day, my 3-year-old complained about having to go to nursery to paint and play with things for three hours. I had to resist the urge to say “wait until you reach adulthood, then you’ll have something to moan about!”
Instead, I showed him some empathy, knowing that I was once at the age where all adults seemed cool and I was oblivious to how much adulthood sucks.
So why is it so shit? After all, you have your own home, can do what you want, don’t have to go to school anymore and can go to bed as late as you want, right?
Wrong.
You have your own home but have to pay for it.
You don’t go to school anymore but have to go to work instead.
You can’t go to bed late because you will fall asleep early due to being exhausted from a day of parenting and general adulty stuff.
Here’s a few other reasons why being an adult sucks:
Boring letters and bills
Bills, bills, bills. Gone are the days when you get all excited about the post arriving through your letterbox. There are no fun pop magazines to look forward to like back in your teenage years.
Now it’s usually one of the following:
- A bill
- Junk mail
- Leaflets from funeral directors (I don’t know why I keep receiving these, but they’re doing a good job of reminding me that I’m not getting any younger)
- A reminder to book a Specsavers appointment
- Mail that belongs to the person who previously lived in my house, despite them having moved nearly ten years ago (this one really pisses me off!)
The aches and pains
During your teens and early adulthood, you think you’re invincible. Then you hit 35, develop an irritable bowel and start getting more aches and pains than you’ve ever had in your entire life.
Hangovers from hell
Gone are the days when you can party the night away, make a quick recovery and do it all over again the next weekend. Hangovers in your 30s feel like you’re nearing death and it takes about three days to recover.
Even worse when you’re a parent who’s had far too much to drink on a rare night out and you have small children to deal with the next day.
Toddlers and hangovers do NOT mix.
Doing an online food shop
A simple adult task that shouldn’t be too stressful, but it is. Especially when your kids refuse to eat anything you cook.
Example of a regular food shop conversation between the husband and I:
Me: “Do we need any jacket potatoes?”
Husband: “I think so. I’m not sure if *insert name of fussy child who complains about ALL my cooking here* likes them anymore though?”
Me: “But she liked them last week!”
Husband: “She says she likes them at school but not at home.”
Me (sighing heavily): “Best not bother then. What else could we try her with?”
Husband: “Maybe some fish fingers?”
Me: “I’m not sure if she likes those.”
Husband: “Hmmm not sure then.”
This goes on for many minutes, making what should be a 20-30-minute task at least an hour long. At this point, I’m usually exhausted. On one occasion I was so tired I ended up adding 5 packs of bananas to my online shopping trolley instead of 5 loose ones, resulting in 25 bananas being delivered.
Oh well. At least the kids actually like bananas!
Being ill
When I was a kid, being ill was sometimes fun. I got to stay home from school, snuggle up on the sofa, play video games, watch TV and got plenty of love and fuss from my mum. Being ill as an adult consists of having to get up early to take the kids to school, having to cook, clean, work, wipe bums and deal with endless laundry.
All while feeling like death.
Time going by faster
Why is it that when you’re a kid, it takes ages for a year to go by?
Christmas took the same amount of time to arrive as it takes my kids to get their shoes on – forever. When you’re an adult, it seems to take about five minutes. The New Year arrives and before you know it, it’s October and you’re being forced to listen to Band Aid telling you that it’s “Christmas time…there’s no need to be afraid” while walking around Asda picking out a Halloween costume for your kids.
A little less conversation
Another discovery that I’ve made as an adult is that long conversations happen less and less, especially with the husband. There’s little time to have a good long chat, especially when you have small children. After a long day of parenting, work, endless chores and trying to get the kids to bed on time, the husband and I are often too exhausted to do anything other than flop down on the sofa in a zombie-like state.
Example bedroom conversation between the husband and I these days:
Me: “Did you remember to put the bin out?”
Husband: “Yeah.”
Riveting stuff.
You have to do EVERYTHING
Undoubtedly one of the top worst things about being an adult. Gone are the days when you arrive home from school and chill out in front of the TV watching your favourite shows while mum and dad cook dinner.
Now, you’re the one cooking dinner.
And washing up.
And cleaning.
And planning the meals.
Buying the meals.
Cleaning the house.
And cooking.
Did I mention washing up?
In conclusion…
Adulthood is hard work, costs far too much and takes up far too much of your time.
Not a fan.
