Why a 1st birthday party isn’t worth it

It’s been years since my daughter’s 1st birthday party, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. I spent at least two weeks sending out invites, planning the food and sorting out the decorations. And it was all a waste of time.

My 1-year-old was grumpy throughout the entire party, there were too many people around and the only time she was happy was when everyone had buggered off home.

If you’re wondering whether or not you should throw your 1-year-old a birthday party, here are a few things to consider:

Your baby won’t remember it

Planning a party can take a lot of time and effort. It’s honestly not worth it when the person you’re throwing the party for won’t have a clue what’s going on. Or even remember it.

And if it goes anything like my carefully planned party did, the only memories you’ll be left with are photos of your lovely 1-year-old screaming in protest when she’s presented with the cake.

So unless you plan to plaster those photos on the walls at your child’s 18th birthday party or use them as some form of bribery years later, then it isn’t worth it.

Of course, there’s no reason why you can’t still throw a 1st birthday party. But something smaller might be a better option.

It might be too overwhelming

A 12-month-old baby still needs naps during the day and it can be hard to decide on the right time to throw a 1st birthday party if your baby is unpredictable with their naps.

My daughter used to nap in the mornings but on the day of the party, she didn’t (just my luck!).

Which later resulted in the mother of meltdowns.

At the exact moment that everybody started cheerily singing “Happy Birthday!”

She was overtired, which led to her being overwhelmed by it all. I still cringe when I think of her sitting in my lap with her head thrown back and arms flailing (in the midst of what I used to call “the silent cry” – the build up to a much bigger, almighty cry) as her cake was brought out.

The first smile of the day was cracked hours later when everyone had gone home. I can honestly relate to that – I often have moments like that as an adult!

If your baby has unpredictable nap times and is likely to become overtired and overwhelmed by it all, then it’s best to avoid throwing a party.

It’s costly

Birthday parties are expensive. There’s the food and decorations, as well as the birthday presents. As your baby won’t remember it and there may be a risk of them being grumpy or just overwhelmed by everything, it’s just not worth the money.

Save your pennies for when your 1-year-old reaches six and chooses a soft play centre for her birthday (the party packages aren’t cheap!).

It’s too much effort

Obviously, as parents, we love to make an effort for our children. We want to see them enjoying all the effort we put into organising their special day.

As babies are so unpredictable with their moods though, it just isn’t worth all that effort.

Save time and stress by choosing something that is much easier to plan, such as a small day trip instead.

It’s not for your baby, it’s for you

Your baby’s 1st birthday isn’t really for your baby at all. Even though you want to give them the best first birthday, anything you do will end up being more for you than them because they can’t tell you how they would like to spend their day.

I still feel guilty now for putting my then 1-year-old through an entire weekend of celebrations that she didn’t enjoy. We chose to do two full weekend days of celebrations – a party with friends and then another with family. Big mistake! Our baby was still unsettled and overwhelmed on that second day of celebrations.

She’s completely different now, absolutely loves parties and would be thrilled at having two celebrations in one weekend! Unlike that first birthday, any time and effort that goes into planning a party now actually feels worth it.

Of course, every baby is different and for some people, it may be worth going ahead and arranging a 1st birthday party. After all, you’ve survived one whole year of being a parent, so that alone is a reason to celebrate!

But if you want to do something that is stress-free, affordable and enjoyable for your baby, it’s much better to opt for a low-key 1st birthday celebration.


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Have you visited the supermarket to do the weekly grocery shop but came out carrying your screaming, uncooperative toddler instead? Or spent two hours cooking a nice meal that your kids have refused to eat? Or asked your child to tidy their room no less than ten times today?

You’re not alone!

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